Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Four Loko Blue Hurricane Review

Name: Four Loko Blue Hurricane
Style: Malt Liquor
ABV: 12%

So I swore that I would never look at anything like this, but I've gotten a couple requests over the past few months to review this. Against my better judgement, I've decided to try out Four Loko Blue Hurricane, which comes in a can with a blue camo design that looks like it was ripped from a pair of camouflage pants that one would find at Hot Topic.

Speaking from experience, back when I was in college, I remember seeing people at various get togethers drinking either this or Joose. Thankfully the temptation never struck me to try it out on account of me sticking with my imported Canadian beers. I also know at one point that Four Loko was touted as an alcoholic energy drink but they removed the caffeine and other energy drink ingredients a few years ago, so now it's just a malt beverage in a huge can.

The can gives no information about what the flavor of Blue Hurricane is but I did manage to pull this description from the official Four Loko website:

"A new Four Loko flavor is taking the nation by storm – Blue Hurricane is coming ashore offering fans a great way to chillax. With a tasty cyclone of tropical flavors, Blue Hurricane Four Loko should be on everyone’s “good times” radar."

Oh I'm sure it will be!

Appearance - Hazy aqua blue color and a fizzy blue head which fades away almost instantly. There's tons of carbonation in here though, but don't expect there to be any lacing because.........I shouldn't have to tell you why. It looks like someone poured some windshield washer fluid in here

Aroma - Mangoes, peaches, blueberries and moderate booziness. It'd be awesome if this were all hop sweetness but it's not though. Instead it's more along the lines of artificial sweetness that reminds me of some tropical Kool-Aid I had as a kid, but on steroids

Taste - It's the same as the nose. You've got the mangoes, peaches, blueberries but the alcohol is powerful here,, with a sickly sweet mango and blueberry aftertaste. It's worth noting too that this somehow manages to burn esophagus as it goes down. Maybe it's just me but I don't think beer isn't supposed to hurt me when I'm drinking it.

My regular readers know that the worst beers I've ever had are Molson XXX, Miller Fortune, and Bud Light Platinum. Well, chalk up one more beer to the "Worst Ever" category because this is absolute garbage. Plus any drink that irritates my throat to the point where I'm coughing long after I've finished having it is not worthy of being drank by anyone.

Yes I am quite aware that it's cheap booze and I'm not expecting anything more given the $2 I paid for it. All of that still doesn't take away from the fact that this is quite bad. If you've got an extra dollar, spend it on a bottle of Summit EPA or Dale's Pale Ale.

Four Loko Blue Hurricane - 1/10

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